But who was she?

But who was she?

We are not given the choice to be born, it happens, nor can we choose the circumstances that which we are born unto. As soon as we partake in our first interpersonal interaction our sense of identity is beginning to form. Our frame of reference, which is, “mental structures that shape the way we see the world” (Burton, p.61) will be created throughout our lives by our experiences and relations. But how aware are we that these things are actually taking place? The truth is some people don’t realize that they acquire characteristics and frames of reference through experience; it isn’t something that people are born with. We have the ability to modify and identify with different frames depending on our own self evaluations. Erving Goffman’s Frame Analysis: An Essay on the Organization of Experience (1974) identifies some frames of reference that people identify with: nationality, race, gender, class, ethnicity and religion (Burton, p.62). Unfortunately sometimes these frames of reference can be limited. In the case of Elizabeth, in Bessie Head’s novel “A Question of Power,” the South African native had little to identify with and no one to learn from. She was born alone, with no one to impose beliefs and ideologies on her, and this left her searching for who she was.

Head and her character Elizabeth have many attributes in common. They were born in apartheid South Africa to a white mother and a native father. Elizabeth was taken from her mother as soon as she was born because the two races were not allowed to mix. This disturbing view of mixed races made sure that she could not identify with white or black people, leaving her with a sense of loss. Not only was she unable to identify with a race, but her country also rejected her. She moved to Botswana on a one way ticket, exiled from South Africa. This lonely soul searching fate led Bessie to confess “I have always been just me, with no frame of reference to anything beyond myself” (Artists, p.64). Elizabeth was given to a woman after her born but it was not a mother figure. She felt like she was the child of someone who was willing to pay for her, but provided her with little emotional support. With no family and no community to fall back on she was forced to live inside herself.

At the age of thirteen Elizabeth got her first true sense of her frame of reference.  She was told of her mother’s whereabouts and the circumstances with which she was there. She finally had finally learned that her mother was in the mental hospital that Elizabeth had walked by so many times. Elizabeth’s first frame of reference was that of insanity. “Now you know. Do you think I can bear the stigma of insanity alone? Share it with me,” (Head, 17) like a mother would share her identity with her daughter, only this identity plagues Elizabeth. In order to escape the frameless society, Elizabeth moves away to form a new identity and sense of self. She wants to feel a sense of belonging. This soul searching doen by Elizabeth makes me reflect on my life and how the frames of reference I live by shape my decisions and actions. I grew up in a very liberal and encouraging home. My parents wanted the best for me, in doing so provided me with their frames to reference too. For example the politics frame of reference in my house was a mix; my mother is a republican and my father is a democrat. While growing up I would listen to what each had to say, one never disagreeing with the other, and now I find I’m a mix. I couldn’t choose because I understand both sides. That frame of reference and the lesson taught from my parents was to keep an open mind and understand others point of view. Without my parents, and without this frame of reference (compassion/understanding) the choices I would have made throughout my life would have had a different impact on person I was to become.

Elizabeth has no one to show her positive frames of reference. Her life started out in a difficult situation, and the only frames of reference she has are negative. Her country and community don’t approve of her, her mother and father are not part of her life, she has no one to identify with, and the only frame of reference she has to cling to would be insanity. Elizabeth “seemed to have no distinct face of her own” (Head, 25); she feels lost and has a tough time finding who she is because of her inability to reference her life to someone else’s. I constantly look at my life and try to identify the direction that it is taking. I think about my past choices and wonder what it was that helped me make that decision; I find that it was my frames of reference that guided my choices, and without those I don’t know where I would be, perhaps in a world of insanity.